As I was walking down the street one dark and dreary day
I came upon a billboard sign and much to my dismay
The sign was torn and tattered from the storm the night before
The wind and rain had done it's work and this is what I saw:
Smoke Coca-Cola cigarettes, chew Wrigley's Spearmint beer,
Kennel Ration dog food makes your wife's complexion clear
Simonize your baby with a Hershey's candy bar, and
Texaco's the beauty cream that's used by all the stars
So take your next vacation in a brand new Frigidaire
Play a Hammond Organ in your Damart underwear
Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're three
And people over sixty-five should bathe in Lipton Tea.
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